What Did You See?

I admit it, I fell for it. ABC said that Flash Forward would be perfect for Lost viewers. They teased me with glimpses into an intriguing mystery. And I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I couldn’t wait for the first episode. I even tweeted a “Woot!” that morning. And then…

Thud.

Flash Forward is a derivative waste of time that Lost viewers were tricked into watching. There, I said it. My great hope, for a new addiction that could fill the conspiracy zones of my brain after Lost ends, has died. I am instead faced with a confusing, formulaic, poorly written mess with one dimensional characters and lazy writing. Pthth!

There was an international phenomenon where every person on the planet blacked out for 2 minutes. Millions were killed in the resulting accidents. The lead FBI office is basing their entire investigation on one agent’s flashforward of his case board six months from now. Which he was still studying at that point, so how useful could it be? Let me count the other ways Flash Forward has ticked me off:

1. The entire planet is still littered with wreckage and 9/11-style missing persons boards, but everyone is going about their business like nothing happened. There is still no explanation for the blackout, so it could happen again! And nobody seems worried.

2. Despite the fact that most of the crows in the world dropped dead during the blackout, only an old Nazi in a German jail noticed.

3. Despite the fact that mere days have passed, the FBI agents investigating the incident are going out drinking, flying to DC for Senate hearings, going on dates, and getting home in time to tuck their weird children into bed. I work harder than these people!

4. I feel no emotional attachment to any of these characters. None. I don’t care if their marriage ends, or they fall off the wagon, or get shot three times in the chest.

5. Way too many unnatural exposition-serving conversations. If the only way to move the story along is to have characters engage in long conversations to explain it, your story stinks.

6. They keep introducing characters or clues, and then completely ignoring them for episodes at a time. I can’t build a relationship with a character or a story when they come and go like that friend you never see until they need cash.

7. Last night they pulled the “start the episode with the final scene, then rewind and spend the rest of the episode building up to that final scene” trick. It’s so overused that we can consider it lazy storytelling. But regardless, in order for it to work, the episode should actually explain why that final scene happened. Last night’s episode didn’t do that. When we again saw our FBI agents ambushed at the end, we didn’t know any more about that scene than we did in the first place. Although we now know for sure that FBI agents are inflammable and immune to explosions.

For the sake of brevity (too late!) I will stop here, but I could go on all day. The basis of Flash Forward is a fantastical event, so it stands to reason that some leaps of faith would be necessary. If you provide relatable, likable characters and tell a great story, I can overlook a lot of stuff. But I’m not getting either from this show, so I find myself tangled up in the constant barrage of absurdities.

There is way too much good TV on Thursday nights for me to continue wasting time on this train wreck. I will probably give it another couple of episodes. But I feel like a sucker.

We’ve been had!

Are you disappointed with FF too, or am I in the minority?